Why do I procrastinate?

OKay, so in the middle of writing my soc paper, (and when I say middle i mean the time between brainstorming and actually writing the thing) I realize that I don't care about it. Why don't I care? Because I don't think it matters. I don't think this paper's policy, though addressing real things with real consequences, with actually do anything. I really don't expect it to go to the Prime minister's office, to be read before the House of Commons or anything, but I do want to believe in what the paper is standing for. I want to be that kid that produces a world-class paper that is toted around front pages of newspapers and wins prizes for outstanding practical brilliance. However, the magic gets lost inside the words. It gets lost inside the perfectly crafted ideas and well-researched policy. It is becoming something not to care about, but to do and get it over with, like so many other people are able to do. Why can't I produce a meaningless paper? Why can't I pretend this is just another assignment that I have to do to pass the course, get my degree and move on? Because I'm not that kind of person. I don't want just to 'get a degree'. I want to become something meaningful, like a teacher or a researcher, or a brilliant lecturer, or even some crazy woman that feeds the birds in the park. I want my life to matter, but is it that there are so many people in the world that it's not even possible for us to feel like we can make an impact??
We are told everyday that we make an impact, though it is one that is harmful, that the WHOLE WORLD'S problems are in our hands, and it's because it's our problem in the first place. Though it may not even have been us, or our parents, or our grandparents who started it (it may have been the guy who decided to move away from his at-home-business in his cottage into the city to make mass quantities of stuff so that more people can have it, and then he told his friends to do the same, and the whole world becomes a big line of consumption...Maybe it was him, but even still, we are told that it is OUR fault, and we need to live in dark caves (though we can bring our cell phones) to fix 'our' problem.
This is not the impact we dreamed of as six year olds who 'want to make a difference'. Those six year olds felt something more magical than that, they wanted to help their neighbor out of poverty, or make sure every kid has a friend, or the classic: they would give 'half of their imaginary million dollars to a charity'. These kids could change the world, in the sense that they were thinking of someone else other than themselves. However, who's to say that they actually believed in it? Maybe it is that kids are brainwashed into this charity mentality from a young age through religion, goodwill, parents values, etc. While these are all good reasons, I say this is too much of a burden to put on little kids. They should be able to play and make friends (or lose friends) all on their own. It is the art of exploration, and science of sadness, which creates meaningful childhood.
So now, while I (not a kid anymore, though with enough regrets to want to go back and change it all....) am sitting here attempting to craft an A out of this assignment, the world is still in trouble: thousands of children have died while I have blogged to figure out my own psyche, millions of people are still in poverty, thousands of people fell in love, millions of people are in ill health and wish they could die, and millions more in the developed world contemplate suicide because they are convinced their life sucks. I wonder why? Probably because we, the more developed (which makes us more capable?) humans, are expected to become saviours for the world. We have achieved more than ever imagined so therefore we must give everyone else the same luxury. WHY? Is this seriously good!? Yes I am healthy (physically, I have no chronic infection, disease or crippling mental disorder) and yes I have great food, and amazing infrastructure to keep me safe, though I ask: is our excess an attainable ideal for everyone? Likely, no. Acutally there have been many environmental gurus/academics who say that it is NOT the case, and we would need 2 or 3 more planets like Earth just to keep up with ourselves for the next century. Obviously we WILL have to downsize sooner or later so that we can all have an acceptible standard of living.
Though how do you convince the movie stars that we don't want them anymore. How do we convince ourselves that we can imagine life without them, or cell phones, or laptops, or facebook, or creme brulee???
To paraphrase and add to Barry Schwartz's arguement about practical wisdom,: I'm dissatisfied with the advancements we have created for ourselves to be able to do things faster and better. Yes we have more options, but that also leads to more choices we have to make, and from his other lecture, we learned that too much choice effectively paralyzes people into not acting at all.
There are so many possiblities for policy options that I do not know where to start, and what to conclude at the end. Of course, as an intro level paper, it's not supposed to change the world, but there is always that possibility, right?