Postsecret.

I read one of the books holding hundreds of secrets, in about an hour.
I should have paused to register emotion.
Now it's a blur.

I'm excited to send away a secret.
It's ironic how we can anonymously publish our secrets for millions of people to read, but we can't tell the people closest to us how we really feel. The people we 'trust'.

Nifty.
Can't wait to look over the book more closely.

Summer

So....back at school (it's the last year!) and I realized that I haven't posted in a LONG time...well not a light-year or anything, but it's been long enough that an update is required, I think.

Actually, I can't believe JUST how much has happened since mid-June. But strangely enough, all I want to cover is the month I spent in PEI. (I'll probably jump back to July later)
So this summer's trip began, as usual with an early morning wake-up call, followed by a groggy ride in to the airport to be ontime for security and such before our quarter-to-nine flight.
Once settled in the "secure area" (aka the place they make you wait a ridiculously long period of time, after they check you for bottles of water that could somehow be bombs) I settled into a cozy(ha!) airport lounge seat and finished the 7th Harry Potter book. It was basically as good as expected and although cheesy in a few places, I thought Rowling did quite a good job tying up the loose ends of her saga. Immediatly after I finished, I handed the merchandise over to mom, who was dying to start it.
The flight was as anxious as ever, because it's always TOO long. I can't wait for next year when I'll be living on the East Coast, like I'm blissed out just thinking about it right now...!
Anyways, the 7 hours came and went, and before I could fathom that we were almost there, ALMOST there....we landed in the gorgeous and quaint airport in Charlottetown. About 11 or 12 people came to greet us, including Mitch and his friend Robert, who were hidden so they could jump out and surprise us...which they did and made the welcome that much more appreciated.

The vacation was spent visiting a vast array of family members, from both ends of the gene pool, although my trip was most enjoyable while staying at Mitch's place (which was alot--thanks so much guys!) or at Grammy Mum's out in the country. By staying at Mitch's I was able to tag along and meet A LOT of his friends. You have no idea how much I adore all these people. I can't believe how instantly awesome they all are.

I could write a thousand words and it still wouldn't be the end of how much I wish I grew up around these people, because their personalities are so enchanting, and they are each so unique that they actually all form one 'being'. It's a weird sensation, and it's so fascinating to be an onlooker of these people. These people are free. They go to work so they can fill er up with gas, but then, as soon as they have what their organs desire, they all get together and talk about important things, or movies, or parties, or the illegal fill-in-the-blank.....but no matter, because I was still blown away by the way they're all so close. That's why I wish I grew up closer to the Island. Because of the culture.
However, I still love my current home. It's where I'm living for another year. It's where I actaully grew up. It's where all my daily friends are, however not quite as close as all of these strangers I met.
I only hope I can fit in without conforming when I move down to that end of the country. I fear I am weaker than they, that I am too easily swayed. But this is only still a fear. A fear I can defeat. Among the other responsibilities I will bear this year, developing the ever changing ME will be the underlying goal. As I hope it always will be.
I hope I will never fall into a "groove". I enjoy exposing myself to new things. I enjoy seeing new places. However, even more than I cherish new landscape, I respect new culture and new personalities even more.

As per always, emotions take over and I forget to describe the details. Do you know why I do that? Because facts never change, but by documenting my feelings at this point in time I'm latching onto something more. I am able to remember not that I hung out and celebrated with Jamo for his 19th birthday, among many others, but that I felt included that night. I felt as if I knew these people . I developed a true respect for Jamo, especially since he did NOT partake in the circle of pot in the garage. That I really was shocked and impressed by.

Anyways. I know I am rambling to myself. How do I know this? b/c
a. no one but Nikky and occasionally Mitch reads this
and
b. because I am being so ambiguous that no one but Nikky or Mitch will even realize what I'm talking about.

...lol! well thanks for staying awake after all that...
cheers
<3
Judi

He has changed my life.

So, I admit it. A much as I want to do well on my Bio Diploma tomorrow, I had to take a break from studying.
...and I hadn't actually written a blog in a Loooong time.
(I wonder if anyone's actually reading them still, oh well I'll talk to myself, that's nothing new eh?)

So I don't even know how long it's been, but I'm sure an insurmountable number of events have occurred since I last was at this keyboard on this website, exposing my brain...
Something will be different this time, I hope not just to reveal a piece of my brain, or even a chunk of my heart, but this will, if all goes well, release the entity of my soul.

In late May, my life changed forever, and so much for the better! Edmonton hosted the annual YC Generation conference. Aspen Ridge Youth Group, now including me as a regular member, yay(!), trekked off to praise our Creator; the one, the only God; Jesus Christ; or as this year's theme reminds us, our King! On the first night we spent our time in Rexall Place, listening to speakers and bands, who wholly enriched my life and gave me a pleasant smack upside the head. Mike Pivilachi asked any of us in the audience who were feeling set apart from God to stand up and be taken by him, to hand our lives into his control. I stood up. I didn't know why I was standing up though, because I had gone to church all my life and thought I had already accepted Jesus into my life, well obviously I hadn't before, because I have never felt so enriched and blessed than I have felt in the past 2 weeks. That one brave act has changed my life dramatically. For one thing, possibly the most important at this time in my life, it allowed Ally and I to finally connect over Church.

Now, I find this ironic in a way, becuase the two of us were introduced to each other at church at such a young age and have been attending ever since. But, this was the first time I had really been introduced to God. I felt as if I had been immersed into something so over my head that I wasn't sure I would be able to continue on with the intensity, however, at the same time I knew that this was where I was supposed to be. Sharing stories of miracles, praising, loving. Living out the mission. Dreaming of The I Heart Revolution.

Everything about that weekend felt so right, but I fought it for a reason I still don't know. I was hesitant to totally immerse myself in the glory. But I did what I could. And I still am...I do what I can, every day. I love as much as I'm able. Although I can still find bits and pieces of my old self every now and again, I much more welcome Christ as my conscience, as my provider, as my mentor...everyday.
There's so much to do when you're part of God's kingdom, but it never seems totally impossible. The hurdles are often so much higher than I think I'm able to jump, and often are in reality. But with some time and some growing I'll be ready to serve. I want to, SO much.

Selfish pride is so callous, and I hope you can lower yourself solely for the purpose of being a utensil of God. I hope all of you can experience God. Not just for a day or a month, but to hold him in your heart, to promise to love him forever.

Want to Join a Revolution? Here's My First Choice...

I feel the best words have already been said, it's up to us to find them, follow them, teach them and repeat them...so, in that light, here's a message from Joel Houston about the wonderful idea that IS The I Heart Revolution.

I have a t-shirt.. it has an "I" which I'm thinking is in particular reference to the person bearing the garment.. a heart – which has accordingly become the universal symbol for love.. and an "N standing along side a Y" – which is intended to refer specifically to the city of New York as opposed to other acronymic possibilities such as "nebulous youth" or "ned's yaught"

Now I just like the t-shirt.. but the truth is; i heart ny.. I really do.. it's an incredible city; the skyline.. the lights.. the landmarks.. the frenetic pace of it all with it's orchestra of sirens, car horns and life in motion.. a statue called liberty? Banana coloured taxis.. the sky lost amongst scrapers.. and in the midst of it all a jungle within a jungle pretending to be a park.. I love it.. there's intrigue and character to be found around every corner.. it's a city of a thousand personalities.. a cocktail of cultures and colours fused together to create a landscape that in many ways has become a symbol of the modern era.. but what makes new york new york.. and what I love most about the place; is the people.. they are in truth it's definition.. they are the movement, the energy, the life within the structures.. they are the landscape the sound-scape.. the history and the future.. they are ny.. and they are what I heart..

see the world is a place made up of places.. and every place has a history.. and every place's history is reflected in what becomes it's culture.. and culture itself is defined through its people.. and the people; well, they are the future… and the future is now..

so then - looking at it in the same light but from the other side of the room; at this moment in history, we are the people in the places.. and we are the ones defining cultures.. and we are the ones creating history.. and so the question must be asked…. If we are the future; how's it gonna look..??

I don't know about you.. but if our generation is remembered for ipods, myspace, and youtube we missed it.. if history speaks of our generation as self indulgent pioneers of the digital age, reality television and purpose built celebrity we'll have failed.. the world will change by itself.. for better or for worse.. it changes daily.. but who will be the ones to shape it.. and how will it look?

in and of itself revolution is neither good or bad.. revolution represents change.. a shift in culture.. History is marked by revolutions.. social and political.. some have represented victory, freedom and justice, however on the flip-side.. too many have become infamous representations of despair, oppression and injustice.. all it takes for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing.. for the church – the hands and feet of Jesus and His plan for the salvation of this big, broken sphere of dirt, water and life we temporarily call home, this has never sounded with more urgency.. it's time for a revolution.. fuelled by a dissatisfaction with self-centred living and complacent faith.. driven by a desire for truth, love and justice..

that's what this is all about…
every generation needs a revolution.. and this one needs to look, sound, walk and breathe like love..

it's not a new concept.. it's an eternal concept.. it's the reason we are alive.. it's the fundemental call of what it means to be a follower of Christ..

Love God.. love people.. that's it.. that's the revolution.. revolutionary I know.. but if we understand what that means.. if we get it.. if we establish in our thinking how that looks.. and we start living it.. we will change the world.. it's not so much about the big stuff.. it's just about the stuff.. it's about the people in the places being the answer - in the places.. and together; becoming the answer to the big stuff.. it's about your backyard.. it's about my backyard..

The world has watered love down to slogans and t-shirts.. lollipop pop songs and popcorn munching excursions in visual indulgence... all of which are fine.. but we throw the word around.. we confuse it's definition.. we diminish our understanding of God's command.. love is the quintessential human emotion.. it is the desire of every human being to experience, and in turn express love.. and God himself IS love.. and he desires to be loved.. and who are the carriers of His spirit..?? it's us…

So that's the call.. that's the mission.. that's what this is all about..

A generation expressing their worship; moreso expressing their heart for worship in the action of love.. toward God.. and toward the world we live in.. and the people who inhabit it.. it's not about highlighting the darkness.. it's about becoming the light that diminishes the darkness.. it's the gospel.. and it is now..
we're all in this together..

((please note: this is not called 'I heart revolution… we don't love revolution.. we're a part of a revolution fuelled by our love for God.. our love for life.. and our love for people.. it's called "the I heart revolution.."))

Quotes.

Very few words of this post are my own. Some of the best information is from quotes. Here's a few of today's favorites:

You must understand the whole of life, not just one little part of it. That is why you must read, that is why you must look at the skies, that is why you must sing and dance, and write poems, and suffer, and understand, for all that is life.
--J. Krishnamurti

People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing thier own soul.
-- Carl Gustav Jung

If you look close enough, you'll find everyone has a weak spot.
--Anthony Hopkins in "Fracture"

We shall not cease from exploring,
And the end of our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
--T.S. Eliot

No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude,without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true.
--Nathaniel Hawthorne

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
--Anthony Hopkins in "Fracture"

Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry;
The philosophy which does not laugh;
The greatness which does not bow before children.
--Kahlil Gibran

Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself.
--Chinese Proverb

By three methods we may learn wisdom:
First, by reflection, which is noblest;
Second, by imitation, which is easiest;
Third, by experience,which is the bitterest.
--Confucius

I don't want to bring another kid into this world, but how do you argue against loving one that's already here?
--John Cusack, "Martian Child"

"Is it good to be like everyone else?" "You know, that's a good question..."
--"Martian Child"

You are a child of the Universe, no less than the moon and the stars;
you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no
doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should.
--Max Ehrmann

Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die,
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams.
For if dreams go,
Life is a barren field
Covered with snow.
--Langston Hughes

Today I shed my old skin which hath too long suffered the bruises of failure
and the wounds of mediocrity.
--Og Mandino

Hugs, Smiles and Love.

Well, if I were to give a pythetic excuse as to why I haven't been blogging lately, it would most likely be that this past month was excessively busy.
I can't actually express every detail as exact as I would love to, so I'll try my best to summarize, while being as entertaining as possible.

Schoolwork and part-time-resteraunt-work dominated most of March. Spring Break fell in the last week of March, and to celebrate being off school, Alicia, Jovi, Jenny and I went to university...on a Saturday! Actually it was really cool. We attended WISEST, a women's oriented science program put on by the U of A to promote science to young girls. I found it really interesting to get an early taste of university life, as well as gain a little bit more science knowledge. For the first day of Spring Break, it actually rocked fairly hard.

Nelly Furtado concert on the Monday. I'll 'forget' to mention anything further about the concert because that would mean acknologing our attendance. Our 2-day trip to the city went well. Since Adam had recently left for Great Britain, his apartment was empty, therefore we slept there instead of the street. Actually Kathleen had an interesting encounter with an old bunkbed of hers. It was quite good fun. The next day we spent a mildly excessive amount of money on clothes and other things to be bought at South Edmonton Common. (So sick of WestEdMall)

The next week was spent in driver's training with Dodie. SO much Fun! This led to a PASSED drivers test the following week. That's right, ladies and gentlemen...I am a liscenced driver. Of course, to be a threat to any of you on the road, I would actually have to be driving a vehicle, which the parentals won't allow.....so therefore, you have nothing to fear.

However non-adventurous I am allowed to be is remedied by Adam and Mitch living for us, vicariously. They are off in Europe for another month, so I've been curiously keeping up with their adventures. So excited for them. Am I missing them? Well Mitch no more than usual, he's only further away now, but still contactable by email. And Adam, well...we're hearing from him more than usual. And, to top it off, I've gained temporary custody of the Wii, and a collection of books and movies.

Speaking of rentals from the library of Adam, Guns, Germs and Steel is a fantastic sociology-related book...I can't wait to read some more of it. In fact, this re-cap is nearing it's end anyways, so I'll head off to do some reading before bed.
Goodnight all.
Hugs, Smiles and Love.

Judi :)

There They Were

With a delicate hint of mystery, there they were.

The stars tonight were exceptionally brilliant. I couldn't help but rush to write down the phrase that instantly came to mind while walking home.

A mysterious force is hanging around this sleepy ol' town, me thinks.
Ever so quietly it has all of us captured. It must be the river. Robert Service and Athabasca Dick would be gleefully enjoying this.
However entrancing a feeling of nonchalant mystery is, confused boredom definitely sets in.

(Why does it seem that everytime a blog pops into my head, it is of the rant variety...?)

Current mood: missing Mitch, Axis and Allies, Jamo, Shelvey and the rest...(e.g. everything about a trip to PEI). There's something about the relaxed, forgiving, non-judgemental atmosphere of these people that is so entrancing.
Few Utopias could rank next to the ecstacy of this.

Peace Out.

Judi

Shout Out. Update.

In a ONE WEEK trip, a ridiculous amount of stories formed thier way into my life, and because I have respect for those involved, I will leave them out of this blog and many other sudo-published writings.

Anyways, for anyone who didn't know, I treated myself to an island getaway for my week off school between semesters. This island had beautiful landscaping, friendly merchants and exposed me to a wide variety of adventures. Of course the only island fitting this description is Prince Edward Island.

Mitchell Underhay was my main tour guide. Acting as a common liason, he assisted in my meeting of numerous Island teenagers, who have now become acquaintences of mine.

No island in the Carribean could have been half as good as this adventure. I have found a passion for travel, discovery and temporary lifestyle changes.

To all of those undisclosed (and disclosed) persons who made the trip* amazing.
I still haven't figured out a lot of the world. But now atleast living** makes sense now.

*specifically this trip; loosely, 'the' trip.
**LIVING!


It's good to be cultured. However morally corrupted you may risk becoming along the way.

Judi
:)

Coat Tails and Entrails

.Judi's Original Version.

The rich and the fancy dressed up for a ball;
The peasants and poor feast in the hall.

Dances and laughter;
Repulsive banter.

Hors d'oeuvres overhead, served by trays;
Daily scrap spread, shared by frays.

Status and stratus of grand desire;
'Lores and stories all 'round the fire.

Thrones and bones show formal respect;
Bars and stars allow the mind to forget.

Coat tails and entrails
falling in an unusual way.
And my, how the tales!
Left behind from the day.


.Mitch's Latter Version.

Coat tails and entrails,
What slithery beasts they be.
Gutted, open, splayed and flayed
And swave with dignity.

The high and mighty are down below
They dance and sing and sway
Ignoring the plebes, the fools and ghouls
And the bloddy games they play.

The carrion flock to the dead on the ground,
As they scheme and think and wink.
The walking corpse in satin and silk
Who cannot smell his stink.

He does not know his own design,
His fat and fleshy meat,
He thinks himself the ruling class,
The power's beneath his feet.

The dead and dying are glory's own,
Those self proclaimed Marquis,
Who are but Coat tails drapped on entrails.
Oh what a fitting beast to be.